Marital Bliss or Marital Blister.........part 2

Behind every successful man is a woman. Agreed! Let me add; behind every successful woman is a man! These are something to take note. The happiness of a marriage or the success of a marriage greatly depends on the Thyaagas one make. Putting the other first is essential for a lasting relationship. It is a question of giving.....Here man and woman play an important part. Man being the provider and woman being the nurturer. Many would disagree to this statement since, nowadays woman has started playing the former role too. This is a blessing and a curse to the matrimony itself.

A lawyer friend of mine highlighted that the highest divorce rate in Malaysia is among Indians; educated professional group! Whether a love marriage or proposal did not matter. That was a shocking revelation. In fact a rather demotivating statement especially when one is preparing for the Big Day.

I am neither a feminist nor an activist in general. However, being transparent and accountable is better than hypocrisy. Hence some thoughts to ponder......

Recent chats with a nice hot teh tarik with good friends definetly brings forth topics to debate. Marriage being on the top of the list since most of us are in late 20s and 30s. The good thing is, even guys feel the same way the girls do. Hmmm and whomever said Man are from Mars and Woman are from Venus. Well, well technically yes agreed but both genders do join in common ground when the issue of marriage takes place. Our focus is to have a long lasting, happily married ever after theme. Sounds like a Disney movie huh.

Marriage is sacred (or for some its.....swop the 2nd & 3rd letter of underlined word and you will get the answer:)). Well at least thats what we agreed upon. And to seek, establish, stabilise and maintain takes lots of hardwork from both genders. Some of us had failed in various stages. Some have breezed through. (Breeze through...no way!) I know, I know it sounds like a project management document :)p

For me coming from a big family did help to put things at perpective. So many lessons to learn on how to be and not to be. The younger ones have the privilege of learning from elders' experiences. The challenge would be to discriminate between the good ones and discard the not so good ones. In addition my personal journey has taught me lessons that are priceless, which would be in good use in future.

The 2nd glass of teh tarik took us into a more serious note where lots of sharing took place. Real life incidents are great masters indeed. Past hurts, memories, fun, laughter and lessons were openly shared by some.

A relationship (well any I beleive) thrives on trust, understanding and responsibility. Trust despite all odds; understanding the temperament of each other; and responsibility to take charge. Of course the extras are honesty and so forth. With the effort comes love. To say I love you because of.......is more contractual. However, I love you despite of.......is love itself!

One of them had an interesting incident to share where the guy that she was seeing, tested her truthfulness in many ways. He enquired every nitty gritty details about her past and carefully monitored her trustworthyness. She innocently conveyed everything without a single guilt because of her principle its better now than later. But guess her naivety was not a blessing here. And to make matters worst, her tests ranged from both mind quiz to field test! Where else, there were always a shut door when she seeked certain answers from him. This has greatly restrained their relationship where she felt a total unfairness was being displayed. And how did they fare? Yup correct. It kaboomed sooner!

Why did that need to happen? Are we too purrfect to test another? Are we sure that WE ARE suitable enough for the other? Why such act?

IF ONLY all could lead a transparent truthful life....... How nice it would be if we are transported back to those good old days of our dads and forefathers where Love did exist in a simple and yet profound manner............How lucky they are..........As for us....so developed and yet backward in nature!

to be continued................